My mind jumped to assumptions from the sudden news. I perhaps unjustly arrived at my conclusions. Maybe I am justified. Where am I? We have shared many personal feelings and experiences. Why am I learning from a text message that you have fallen in love and proposed marriage?
Of course, I wanted to say congratulations, but my words became lost. I stumbled for days trying to recall if you had shared your new love in previous conversations. I can be terrible at remembering things sometimes. I thought maybe it happened so fast, like love at first sight. You had no chance to say, “hey, I got some good news, I met someone, and I hope it works out for me”.
You owe me nothing in this world, but if you are interested in why I feel nervous about calling, texting, or planning an adventure, it's because of how I learned about her. Before I received the photos of you proposing, our conversations were about planning adventures and an experience. I guess I need help understanding why you did not tell me earlier from a friendship perspective. Assumptions flew into my head, bad on me, but I could not help it. Am I not really a friend? Do you fear her reaction to our relationship, or are you worried about my response to her?
I am suddenly confused, pondering how I am supposed to communicate. When in doubt, I just move on with my one life. The best thing for me is to ask you directly rather than assume your feelings or thoughts. But I am afraid to call. I love so many things about you, your sense of adventure, athleticism, healthy living, willingness to try, and positive attitude. I treasure my few friends that meet me on my level. I tremble at the thought of losing you.
~jenn wren
